Life on the hill: June 2011

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A painting for my best friend... and lover...

It was M's birthday at the end of last month. Among other things, I started a painting for him. Do you think I got it finished in time for his birthday... No, not likely - other things got in the way... After my post I paint its been annoying more then ever that I hadn't finished it. So I gave myself a good talking to saying MAKE THE TIME VICKY.... Moon Goddess acrylic and pen on canvas There is a quote along the side... my favourite 'What lies behind us and what lies before us are but tiny...

I paint...

.. on paper, canvases, anything that can be painted. It feeds my soul. And I don't do it enough. I don't consider myself an artist (though others call me that, and I blush). I don't sell my paintings, I give them away... usually after they have adorned my own walls for a while or as birthday presents. dragon fly on stained glass watercolour pencils on paper Blue leaves watercolour pencils on arches paper And then there are others that I will never give away. self...

grateful for being alive...

Thank you Maxabella... nothing like a gentle reminder to sit back and reflect... ***************************** today my Aunt had...

I remember... feelings...

This post is a writing exercise for Write on Wednesdays. Click on the button and join the fun: I remember ... the feel of salty wind on my face as I listen to the waves breaking on the sand, and feeling peace wash over me. I remember ... feeling so awestruck at this tiny little being placed in my arms - this precious gift that was my daughter, and wondering how on earth did I get so lucky. I remember ... feeling incredibly small as I stood on the edge of the Grand...

Hold on tight... we may hit some turbulence...

I can feel my anxiety raising and my throat closing as I get closer and closer to Sunday. This Sunday marks a change in how Aston sees his dad. From two hour supervised fortnightly visits at an independent centre to supervised by Aston's aunt and uncle at R's house from 10 until 4. If I said I was fine with it all, I'd be lying. I'm not fine with it. At all. tentacles of anxiety are tickling in my limbic brain system. The desire to fight or flight is raising in intensity. The little girl...

living on a shoestring...

When your a single mumma, with three kids - a teen queen, a "gangsta" teen, and a pre-schooler, two dogs, and a cat, feeding us all is an interesting challenge on a limited income and ever increasing food costs. To some I'm known as frugal Vicky ... a title I like, to be honest. so what does one do on a tight week? Pen and paper .. and start opening cupboards, fridge and freezer and take stock.... And then plan the weeks menu, based on whats on that list. as your writing down that menu, you...

Gratitude... a state of grace

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer As I lay in bed this morning thinking about how its far too cold to get out of bed, I looked out the window at the magnificent view that I have been blessed to see each and every morning. How can one not look at this and not feel a sense of sublime gratitude? Yes, it is cold and windy, but I'm so...

Drab to Fab...

interesting concept that one... Drab to Fab... And I like it. It has me thinking - what do I do to make myself feel better? Last week I was sick with the flu, and quite happily wanted to curl up in a little ball and disappear. Doing anything to make myself feel better required far too much energy and effort on my part, when all I wanted to do was sleep, and for the yuk sick feeling to go away... So come Friday, when there was no food in the house, and the house looked like several bombs had...

friend and lover...

Several people recently, that I hadn't seen in a while commented about how happy and well I look. Well, it got me thinking. I am happy...content. And feeling the best I have in a long time. Even as M and I navigated our way through the bumps of our new relationship I didn't feel like I was going to drown. I recently had the first panic attack I have had since January... At M's house...we had had an argument...one that really had to happen, giving us both the chance to say..or yell how we...

Nathan - 28 August 1998

I wrote this on the 28th August 2009. I wanted it here, on my blog with all my other "warblings". 11 years ago today, I gave birth to my son Nathan. I had gone for a check up on the Wednesday, and mentioned that I had a pain. Nathan was fully engaged, and the midwife was of the opinion that it was scar pain from my csection scar with Laura. I was booked into have a c-section on the 9/9/98. On the the Thursday the pain was still there, stronger and more OUCH. plus I felt crampy. But I had very...

I wrote this on the 2nd January 2010... A letter for my daughter... This time 14 years ago I lay restlessly waiting for tomorrow. Trying to sleep, but so excited with the anticipation of finally meeting this small child that lay within my womb. Who would they be? What would they look like? Was it a boy.. or a girl? All through my pregnancy - up until 3 weeks before your birth - I was convinced you were a boy. I wanted you to be a boy. If you were a boy, then all the fears that I held deep inside...

bittersweet moments

My little girl (who really isn't little anymore...15 doesn't count as being little anymore does it?) has a boyfriend. A real one... not a "I like you" kind-a-boyfriend... but a falling-in-love-kind-a-boyfriend. and its a bittersweet moment for me... it only seems like yesterday truly that this small beautiful precious child was placed in my arms and I fell completely and utterly in love with her... and learnt one of the greatest lessons I have learnt.. what unconditional love really is... and...

The Promise

M played this for me last night... it is truly beautiful and made my heart ache.... Tracy Chapman - The Promise If you wait for me then I'll come for you Although I've traveled far I always hold a place for you in my heart If you think of me If you miss me once in awhile Then I'll return to you I'll return and fill that space in your heart Remembering Your touch Your kiss Your warm embrace I'll find my way back to you If you'll be waiting If you dream of me like I dream of you In a place that's...

every little bit counts...

Its funny how the universe works. I read a brilliant article about 100 gratitudes that lead me to 365 Grateful. Both the article and the blog have been rattling around in the recesses of my brain, highlighting all the things that I have to be grateful for. I am going to do the 100 gratitudes, and thought I would start with this one...because in all honesty but for the grace of god go I... After reading last week about the ever increasing number of homeless I'm not only grateful for the roof...