Monday, April 18, 2011

full moon...

yep, its a full moon tonight. And it seems that my cycle has moved into alignment with the moon. Guess it means I don't have to keep record of when I last got my period now, I can just google the full moons and I will have the date...

Full moon. Image credit: NASA

As esoteric as this sounds, the full moon always affects me, and not just my menstrual cycle. I have been reading a lot lately about honouring the feminine... instead of viewing menstration as "the curse" as it has been coined, celebrate and honour my ability to menstruate. And in doing so, I honour myself, and my feminity.

Its hard to do... to change those thought patterns. From the very first I got my period at 12, it has been painful, and horrible. I have endometrious, which adds to the fun of it all. But since I have been trying consciously to embrace the one thing that makes me uniquely female, the pain has been less.

Thankfully I haven't passed on the negativity associated with the uniqueness of being feminine to my daughter, that was a very conscious decision on my part. I didn't want her to have negative associations with it. And she doesn't. She was so prepared for it to arrive, that when it did, it was a celebration...

my little girl is not a little girl anymore

Posted May 9th, 2008 at 04:52 PM

Is it possible to feel that many emotions all at once.... yep - it is, and more.My little girl has just become a woman. I know I probably sound silly - but AF coming to visit her for the first time, is soooooooo incredibly different from when it came to visit me. And I am having a kind of proud mummy moment, because I know that Laura's reaction - which was when she got home from school at 4pm - guess what mum? I got my period today! Me - When? Are you Ok? Her - 2.20pm (lol) and Yep I'm fine. Me - did you have stuff with you? Her - yep, all good mum. I exclaimed excitedly, jumped up and down, gave her a big cuddle, and said ohhhhh my little girl has just become a woman!!! To which she rolled her eyes at me... lol. The fact that she was prepared, and not freaked out, and quietly and confidently all ok with it, makes me feel like I have done a good job in helping her to get to this place. I'm having a warm fuzzy moment. Much better experience then when I got mine period. I sat on the toilet howling, my mum was definitely not celebrating, and my little sister was unkind.... I'm a proud mother hen right about now.

She has none of the negativity that I have (and are trying to let go of), and consequently has no pain. She does get hormonally moody..which I think is a combination of being a teenage female and getting her period. Hopefully that will settle as she gets older.

I know that most of the negativity that I have,  is associated with my experiences that occurred as I became a young woman. The man who is my father damaged that part of me - that young woman. I was on such a mission for my own daughter's experiences to be different to mine, that I have forgotten to honour my own young woman inside... the one whose body image, whose concept of what love is, of what relationships are is so warped and damaged that it informed some pretty poor decision making on her part.

so today... as I begin to shed... its only fitting that I embrace that young woman inside, and help her to shed, the shame, bitterness, fear... and its in place fill it with love and forgiveness... and help her walk over the threshold of the past, and integrate with me...

1 comment:

  1. WTG...What a woman you are! :)
    (takes one to know one?)


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