Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The scars

I read this in another blog, and decided I needed to put it in mine. to remind me.... The Scars Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida, A little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His mother in the house...

finding beauty in the small things..

I have been reading every day the Louise Hay website healyourlife.com. I really feel that its a significant factor in me feeling better. Its good to read things that help feed your brain from a positive perspective. when you are someone like me, whose self speak is so negative that I have a tendency to see the glass as half empty most of the time... and not see the beauty in small things. I have conciously been trying to see the beauty in small things... and it has made a difference. Recently my...

Sunday, March 28, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

Just went back and read some of my blog, and came across my New Year's Resolutions. Out the ones that are there - I have started to reconnect with my children, and have gotten a tattoo - two in fact :D Still need to paint, write, and clean the crap out of my life... that one is a work in progress I think. I have started on it... have got ridden of some of the people in my life that were baggage and hard work. As for the stuff... I keep going to do that one, and just get overwhelmed by the enormity...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

butterflies...

I was watching a butterfly this morning. watching it fly. They flap their wings in short sharp spurts to direct them to a wind current, then stop and drift on the wind. They expend energy to get them to where they want to go, hope on, and let nature do the rest.... Think I should try being a butterfly for a whi...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

feeling fuzzy around the edges...

that's how it feels. like I tingle all over. I'm throwing food down my throat, and iron tablets, and magnesium. in the hope that it will go away. I fell into bed last night at 9pm out of exhaustion. and woke at 1... sigh. finally went back to bed at 3am.feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. my beautiful cousin stuck her neck out for me, and threw it to the universe - and my extended family - and mentioned that I was doing so well, and needed assistance so that I could get the lawns done, and...

bullies...

despise them. the act of bullying. the whole damn thing.N is getting bullyed at school. some people wouldn't consider this bullying. but I do. Some little girl, and her group of friends, have decided that N is an easy target, and everyday torment him, saying Look there's emo. N is on the edge, about to explode. He said to me this morning in frustration, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! I asked him what he meant. Because she's a girl!! If she was a boy, I'd punch him!I said to him that I was very proud...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

sometimes all the positive thinking in the world...

... just doesnt cut it.I'm irritable, annoyed, pissed off, down right fucking angry. that I'm alone, with three children. that i have to constantly pick myself up and dust myself off. that I have to be ok all the time. that I cant just run away. that the choices I have made have alienated people. that I have made such stupid mistakes. that I wasted so much of my life investing energy into people that have used me up and spat me out.I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!! I hate feeling like I'm slipping down...

lots of bites off the elephant...

... and it still looks like a bloody big elephant. sighIts been a busy and long week. Monday, I sorted out mri and physio for my knee, finalised the insurance claim on R's car, spent some lovely quality time with a friend making a vision board (which is now on my fridge), got a text from R for Aston - which I just about threw up over, was fairly certain that it was a breach, but because the content was not abusive was unsure.Tuesday, went had my tattoos touched up, had a minor freak out about something,...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

another bite of the elephant

and what a bloody big elephant it is! I go back to court tomorrow for the DVO hearing. which will hopefully be finalised. I had my interview with family relationships, and they will have now sent a letter to R requesting him to contact them to organise a meeting. They give him ten days, and if they dont hear from him, will contact him. if still no response, they will give me a letter stating that I attempted mediation to set up parenting orders... Then it moves onto family Law court, which is why...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

change in perspective

Its amazing how just doing a few little things everyday, that can fill your heart with joy, can change your perspective. I have been reading everyday a website www.healyourlife.com and really has made a difference to how my head space is. I read the affirmations, and everyday, there is at least one, that I need to hear. I read the articles, and so many times, I have read one, and felt like it was speaking right to me.some days are hard, and I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I'm a single mum with...

 

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