another bite of the elephant

and what a bloody big elephant it is! I go back to court tomorrow for the DVO hearing. which will hopefully be finalised.

I had my interview with family relationships, and they will have now sent a letter to R requesting him to contact them to organise a meeting. They give him ten days, and if they dont hear from him, will contact him. if still no response, they will give me a letter stating that I attempted mediation to set up parenting orders... Then it moves onto family Law court, which is why I have applied for legal aid, so I have a solicitor.

I went to the ortho on monday to have my knee assessed, and he is of the opinion that I have done the meniscus and ACL. I have a referral for an MRI, which will hopefully happen sooner rather then later, and he has also referred me for physio, as I have no strength in my leg. I couldnt even lift it off the bed when he pushed down on it and asked me to raise it. You can actually see my thigh wasting. So physio to be organised, and hopefully that will help. Tired of it hurting all the time.

I also got the results from blood tests that I requested as I am concerned about the amount of weight I am continuing to loose. I didnt want to just put it down to stress just in case something else was going on. My iron levels came back as iron defeicent, and my blood sugar levels are up. So its back for more blood tests, and another test to ensure that I'm not bleeding internally, causing my iron levels to be low. Seems like I've turned 40, and while my head is doing great, my body is going to shit!

but as Annie has said to me, its all a process - physical, mental, emotional. And I have to keep telling myself not to get stressed about WHAT may be going on with both my knee and my body... and wait for the results and deal with it then. Because its just a waste of my energy - which is low at the best of times. Deal with the things that are right in front of me right now - not ones that may or not happen.

I have read an interesting article about decluttering - and how it has the equivilant effect of decluttering your head space. I NEED to do this. So I am making a contract with myself to do 15 mins a day - if I get into it and go longer that's ok, but at least 15mins a day.... starting in the study!

And I need to paint. so desperately need to paint. to feed my soul. the last two days I have watched movies which has been nice, and as my knee has been so incredibly sore since the weekend and monday's doctor's visit, i think or hope that the rest will help it.

The energy in my house has changed dramatically. Laura and nathan aren't fighting like they were. they still bicker - but not with the nastiness that it was becoming. I think a smudge stick is in order to rid all the bad energy. Will have to have a look into that.

and I will sign off with my quote for the day:

When you commit to discovering, nurturing and then living your true passion, it’s as if you’re stoking a fire in your soul