ch..ch..ch..ch..change

Where did September go?

Oh that's right, it was fraught with change and heart ache, so it passed in a blur.

The last week of September was good. I went to Daydream Island, via sleep train, bus, then boat. I scuba dived, para sailed, jet skied, tube rode, snorkeled, had a couple of massages, cocktails, loads of sunshine and lots of swimming.

Going was one of my 42 things before 42, and achieving it on the limited budget I have felt pretty good. Unfortunately it was bittersweet, as it wasn't quite the family holiday that I had planned. Not my whole family was with me. Sometimes the hardest decisions to make suck. But I'm a big believer in actions = consequences, and this was a definite case of consequences.

I've been thinking a lot of late, after some commentary on my blog, why do I write this. I write for me. Not an audience. I write about the sublime, the ridiculous, the curious, the mundane, the drivel that makes up my head. I am many people and many things... a woman, a mother, a survivor, an artist which I prefer to say I paint but I'm trying to embrace the word...,   a scholar, a friend, a lover, passionate, silly, at times a little bit insane, someone who experiences the effects of mental illness - both directly, and indirectly.

If you read my blog, you are in effect looking inside my brain... which at various times, for various reasons can range from pure crap of inane ramblings, to deeply heart felt real truth... and anything in between.

I'm on the cusp of enormous change. Some of it has already happened, some of it is in the process of happening, but change it will. And it has to.... like the shedding of a skin, its time to slough off the old, and prepare for the new... just wish I didn't feel so terrified in the process.