Monday, September 5, 2011


12am my eyes shot open. My skin was prickly, crawling. I ripped off my jewellery in the hope of some relief... none came. The prickling, the crawling of my skin intensified.  I was wrapped up in the arms of M, and even this didn't provide comfort. I didn't want to be touched. I wanted to run... get in the car and drive. Where - it didn't matter.

I untangled myself from his embrace on the pre-tense of having to go to the toilet, where I sat, reached into my bag of tricks to try and stop myself from falling into a full blown panic attacked. I tapped at  meridian points frantically, slowed my breathing, ran positive affirmations through my head... until the prickly crawling feeling subsided.

Quietly I got back into bed and curled up against M's back, tucking my legs into the curve of his, breathed out and closed my eyes.

My last waking thought - Fuck. That old monster is back. God damn it to hell.

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