eating an elephant - again

I havent blogged for a while. there has been so much going on in my life. my relationship has been falling apart rapidly - DH hurt his back at work just over two weeks ago, badly, and has been in a lot of pain. it has added tremendous stress to our relationship, which was already falling apart.

On sunday it reach boiling point, with DH attempting suicide. We had an argument, where I stated quite clearly to him that I could no longer do this dance that has been going on for years - but worse in the last 12 months. That I couldnt do it to the children any more. I told him that I wanted him to go, sort him self out, and then we would see what happens from there.

he got very quiet, went to the cupboard got a cup, with a lid. I thought he was getting things together to take Aston. I was guarded, and on high alert. I didnt see him take the pain killers, but realised after he got in the car and drove away that he had taken them with him. I had no idea how many endone, or valium where left in the packets. I rang a friend, hysterically. She said to me ring the police. So I did.

he tried to slash his wrists while the police were here. in front of me. i was at the kitchen bench, and he reached over and took the knife that i had just used, and ran it across his wrist. everything went crazy then - i screamed and tried to get the knife off him. a police officer wrestled him, and he was handcuffed. and taken to hospital. which is where he still is.

fuck