Life on the hill: digging deep

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I'm finding it hard to write at the moment.

My heart is sore, and all I want to say is Life is fucked and continue on in my little pity party that I'm having.

My head said to me this morning "suck it up princess - you have more to be grateful for then a lot of people"... which made me think about gratitude, perspective and not giving in to the black dog.

so out of the heart ache that I have been feeling for the last couple of weeks what do I have to be grateful for....

- my mum. the irony of this is not lost on me...The universe works in such bizarre ways at times. my own relationship with my mother has been rocky to say the least - but I'm incredibly grateful that she has been here the last two weeks, to anchor me, and stop me from hurtling out into space... she kept the house going while I cried... tears for my own 15yo girl inside, and for my 15 yo daughter. I feel more connected to my mother now then I have in a very long time.

Me, Mum and Laura

- M... as is the case most of the time, men want to fix things. He knew he couldn't fix this, instead he gave me what I needed - comfort, a safe place to cry, love. For the first time in any relationship that I have had with a man I feel like someone has MY back.

Looking at the stars on the trampoline.

- my friends, for listening, for being empathetic, for being honest

- Aston, whose excitement at going away on holidays to Daydream Island is infectious. If I can view the world through his four year old eyes life looks pretty wonderful.

Daydream Island in Playdoh :)

Once again thank you Maxabella Loves for motivating me to look for gratitude - because it seems I didn't have to look very far after all. :)

Mira Narnie (I wanted to write Narnia!!) is hosting this weeks Grateful link up...

What are you grateful for?

6 comments:

MaxabellaSeptember 17, 2011 at 2:11 PM
'Someone has my back' - that's beautiful.

Hope you're feeling happier soon, Vicky. I know it seems trival and a bit silly, but I do believe that focusing on what is working really helps us glide over the bits that aren't. x
UnknownSeptember 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Thanks Bron - and its not trival or silly... it has helped me feel the sunshine today. x
UnknownSeptember 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Thanks Bron - and its not trival or silly... it has helped me feel the sunshine today. x
Mum on the RunSeptember 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM
It's so easy to be grateful when everything is just going swimmingly, isn't it?
Good on you for finding some sunshine today.
I can only imagine your pain at the moment.
x
allySeptember 17, 2011 at 9:34 PM
It does feel good to look for the positives doesn't it?
And 4 yo wonder is very infectious and special.
I hope things work out for you
T.September 18, 2011 at 5:18 AM
Nice post and your right, even when all is bleak often there is something positive even if it's just a bit harder to find.