Thursday, March 24, 2011

seems I've started leaping like this penguin...

Since I took that leap I seemed to be taking lots of them!

Last Friday I decided to stop talking about participating in my cousin's business Blazin' Hussy and actually do something about it. I ordered the equipment I needed to start making candles and melts, and it has now all arrived. I'm itching to start playing with it!

And I have taken another leap.... I have um'ed and ah'ed about M meeting the kids. The lioness within is still oh high alert (I wonder if she ever will not be.....?) Then there is the practical part of me that says you need to know now - before you fall any further - whether it would work. The part that says to me - find out now, before you fall any deeper... because it will really really suck if you wait and wait, and then its a disaster and your heart is broken into a 1000 pieces. Where as now - before you have fallen too deep, you can bounce back quicker....

I hate the fact that my ability to trust has been so damaged. That there is this constant internal diaglogue going on in my head and heart... so I'm taking another leap of faith. And he is coming to dinner on Friday night. Just quietly (oh what an oxymoron that is! FFS I'm writing it on my blog!!) I'm terrified.... so I will just have to trust... that like that little peguin I will land on the other side.

1 comment:

  1. Ahh Vicky...
    Just one small step... why is it SO hard?
    I am so MEGA impressed by you my friend.
    I am going to try and be brave..


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