Monday, April 21, 2014

Can I have the envelope please?

And the winner is... 

image credit

So I went back to the surgeon, and saw his resident, because, well I guess he's entitled to, he was on holidays. Age and experience are vastly different between the surgeon, and his resident. Which probably accounts for his total blasé attitude while discussing the tumour they removed from my breast.

Apparently, it was 3.5cm, with a margin of 1mm to my skin, 3mm to my chest muscle, and 1cm on each other side. It was a high grade tumour, meaning it grows quickly, has both progesterone and estrogen hormone receptors attached to the cancerous cells, and has been successfully removed. Great, right?

My heart friend who was with me couldn't understand why I wasn't ecstatic at the news. I mean, I'm happy that its gone, but my gut feels uneasy. Very uneasy. Too close. Those margins...too close.

There will be a meeting in two weeks between surgeon, oncologist, and whoever else is involved in these things, to discuss my case and what they suggest happens next, and I will see them a week later. When I go, I want to be far more informed then I was the other day.

I have been researching and reading articles on Breast Cancer Network Australia, Cancer AustraliaMcGrath Foundation, National Breast Cancer Foundation , and have joined a support group on Facebook for Younger Women with Breast Cancer. They have been a god send.

This is MY body, and I don't want to be 6 months down the track only to have to go through this again - or worse. I want to be proactive, not reactive. Informed, not naïve. I'm intelligent woman, who isn't prepared to put blind faith in the medical profession.

I'm also a scared woman, in the midst of yet another round of trauma... god damn C-PTSD.



  1. Hi Vicki,
    That is quite the update. I know how aggravating the waiting can be from appointment to appointment. Sending you positive vibes that you get a clean bill of health soon!

    1. Thank you Shauna. Digging deep and trying to keep busy. Today was a good day. Filled with lots to be grateful for.

      It's lovely to hear from family from far away. I hope to one day visit your part of the world. It's on my bucket list. :)
      V x

  2. Very much hope that time goes faster than usual for the next two weeks and that there's good news when you see the docs. Not sure whether good news would be that it's all gone, done and dusted or that chemo is needed... I'm sure you are getting 100% the best care possible as well as great support from family and friends. May the force be with you.

  3. Vicki this is good news but I totally understand how you are feeling!! Hoping the next appointment goes really well and they answer any questions you have.

  4. How are you doing Vicki? I hope you are doing well and recovery is near. Sending you positive thoughts from Canada.


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