Cranky

If I was physically able to do this I would!

I'm cranky. Just in case no one has noticed.

For the last month, I have been sick and in pain. Firstly with the flu, that turned into a chest infection, sinusitis and asthma, which disappeared but left me with thrush, and then just to add injury to insult - my back gave out on me. Completely. I was giving my 14yo son a cuddle, the 5yo decided to get in on the act, jumped on my back, and it went kaput. That was last Thursday.

I'm at the stage where I'm so cranky that I have zero tolerance for bullshit...

... so when absent fathers make their daughters feel even worse for being brave enough for asking for help, and then make her feel like shit for being diagnosed with depression and anxiety I tend to get a little pissed off. Under normal circumstances - ie, my back wasn't hurting like my spinal cord is trapped in a vice - I would be pissed off, but would hopefully be able to deal with it rationally. Instead, I'm going to rant.

Seriously people, when is the stigma associated with mental illness going to stop?!?! I really shouldn't be surprised that he has taken this stance. He took the same one with me. Its all in my head. Yes you idiot, it is. That's the fucking problem!

I would like to shake this man until his brain rattles inside his huge head. If I thought it would make any difference I would. I fail, (and believe me, I have tried to understand and justify his behaviour and choices), to understand how he can be so thoughtless, and uncaring towards our child, who is struggling, and needs support. Please explain to me how the cost of her treatment is of more importance then the HOW and WHY she is in need of it. For fuck's sake, I'll sell my god damn organs if it is required!

I will never ever understand how the balance of concern can be so skewed... I keep trying to, but all I keep doing is hitting a brick wall. with my head.