Last night as I sat feeling sorry for myself - lost alone and very sad, I started trawling through other peoples blogs. Usually when I have done this I get lots of blogs about peoples hobbies, and chit chat. but last night blog after blog came up about peoples stories about how they survive in the midst of sickness, having children with disabilities, people living with disabilities themselves...and all of them - in spite of, or even because of - had such positivity that I felt more then a little shame faced.
It sat with me all night. in my dreams, and in my first awakening. Bad things happen to good people. Its how you deal with it that is the fundamental difference between sitting and wallowing in self pity and recrimination, or embracing the difficulties life throws at us and smiling through it. I'm sure that all of those people I read about have bad days as well... but they CHOOSE to keep on fighting the good fight. They CHOOSE to see the beauty in the situations they have found themselves in.
I started doing the Moodgym - an online help program for people suffering from depression, and one thing stood out to me hugely. What you think is What you feel. If I think that its all too hard, then I will feel like its all too hard. If I think that today is a new day full of possibilities then I will feel like its a day new full of possibilities. I am responsibile for how I feel, I am responsible for my own happiness.
And I am also responsible for whether I let other peoples problems and unhappiness fall on me, or slide off me.