Things I know

I know that the only way I am going to be able to start regularly writing again is by participating in writing link ups. So I am.

I know that I have so many things to say and write about, I just don't know where to start.

I know that I need to start painting again. My fingers are itchy to create.

I know that I am the only one responsible for my happiness. I know that since I focused on this, my heart and head have felt better then they have in a very long time.

I know that I am very ready for school to go back. I know that Aston is also ready for school to go back. Every time we drive past school he asks me how long until he starts grade 2.

I know that every time I start overthinking something I have to remind myself No expectations, no disappointments.

I know that 2014 is going to be amazing.

What do you know?

Read More

The end of her childhood

 

 

The last few months have been monumental for my eldest child.

 

She has graduated from high school, the last two under stressful circumstances. Received two awards, been accepted into ACU in the young achievers program, before op results were released!, got beautifully frocked up for her formal, and turned 18.

 

I can't believe I have an 18 year old daughter. I have an ADULT child. How did that happen?

 

She is amazing. Her tenacity will get her far in life. She never never gives up.

 

I wonder where she got that from? ;)

 

I love you Lauralei. To the moon and back.



 

Graduating Year 12

 

 

Year 12 Formal

SeaWorld

18th Birthday

Read More

Rebound

       " or·bit

       n.

       1. a. The path of a celestial body .... as it revolves

               around another body. "

 

 

 

 

 

                                                Caught in each others orbit

                                                circling around.

                                               Oblivious to the outside...

                                                its noise, an annoyance.

 

                                               The pull - sublime.

                                               The elliptical spinning - thrilling

                                               and ...

                                               dangerous.

 

                                               Caught in another star's orbit.

                                               Our gravities - entwined.

                                               Slowly, gently, disentangle the tendrils,

                                               each one bouncing back to its rightful place - my heart.

 

                                               Realign my celestial body

                                               to revolve around my heart.

                                               It deserves to be loved,

                                               admired, praised ... adored.

 

                                               I can not love another ...

                                               until ...

                                               I learn to love myself

                                               ... again.

 

Read More

Writing to still the noise in my head

I have so many thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. It feels like it is going to burst in a kaleidoscopic mess. One thought doesn't end before it shoots off in another tangent. Another thought, another tangent.

The noise in my head is deafening.

But to look at me, you would think there was nothing going on inside. Sometimes - often - I look void of ... everything. Feelings, emotions, thoughts.

While inside my head a cacophony plays.

To still the noise in my mind I realised that I need to write. It doesn't matter what I write. I just need to write. I haven't been writing. I haven't been doing anything. I have been in a form of stasis.

Is this how a caterpillar feels? When it slows down, spins its cocoon around itself and disappears within? Does some innate sense signal that the change is complete, that the only way to still the noise is to break free of the safe haven it created for itself, stretch its new butterfly wings, dry them in the sunlight and take flight?

                  ********************************************************

I saw my therapist today. She reminded me of something that I had forgotten.


I am responsible for my happiness.

I think its time to start nibbling my way out of my cocoon.

Image credit

Read More

Closed for business

 

 

 

For reasons that are too painful to write about at the moment, I have decided to step away from the online world.

 

 

I wanted to say thank you to all the people in cyber space who have supported me on my journey. Whatever way I have interacted with you online, thank you for your encouragement and kind words. They have always come when I needed them  most.

 

 

What the future holds for me and mine is anyone's guess. I just know that for right now this is the best decision for me and my family.

 

 

 

Until our paths cross again, remember -

 

“Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle” J M Barrie

Read More