Saturday, November 29, 2014

Displaced

Displaced.That's how I'm feeling right now. My teenage son has come back to live with me. It seems that it wasn't working out at his father's place. Who could have seen that coming...? (It was written in the fucking stars)Where I'm currently living, there is no room for him, so he has been boarding with a friend. I thank the universe that his friends mumma bear just got it, without me having to go into minuet detail. I didn't have to fill in all the blanks.My time where I am living is coming...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

This boy...

Words Fail Me Right Now He is happy. And that is all that matters. ...

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Empathy

Empathy  the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Sometimes I sit in wonder at people sitting up high on their pedestals, looking down at people who are suffering. They sit in their ivory towers making judgements about things they know nothing about.  Not all people who suffer are victims. Many fight, every single day, to be ok. Blessed are they, not to have that fight. If only it was that easy as hitting a switch to stop the pain inside...

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Anzac day

So... I hit further then rock bottom. I wanted out. I said my goodbyes to my children. Counted my tablets and was waiting for my heart friend to leave for work. Next thing I know there are two ambos in my bedroom. My daughter had called them. Pretty fucked up. To put my beautiful girl in that position. Long story short - if I didn't agree to come into the mental health ward they would place an order on me. So I agreed. Eventually. I can't guarantee right now that I won't do something to stop the...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

It's Complex

I have two types of people in my life. Those that have known me for a long time, and those that are relative newcomers. The people in my life that I've known for over ten years have seen me fall down, pick myself up, and carry on. There are a handful who have seen me do it numerous times, from the very first time 12 years ago, when the light of hope that lived in my heart had been extinguished, and my strength to carry the facade that I had been living behind ceased. And with it, my will...

Monday, April 21, 2014

Can I have the envelope please?

And the winner is...  image credit So I went back to the surgeon, and saw his resident, because, well I guess he's entitled to, he was on holidays. Age and experience are vastly different between the surgeon, and his resident. Which probably accounts for his total blasé attitude while discussing the tumour they removed from my breast. Apparently, it was 3.5cm, with a margin of 1mm to my skin, 3mm to my chest muscle, and 1cm on each other side. It was a high grade tumour, meaning it grows...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

The new price is right

I'm not good at being in limbo. In fact I suck at it. Big time. Last Thursday I had a lumpectomy on my right breast to remove the 3.3cm tumour that was happily growing there. It was having quite a party it seems, as it is deemed high grade - meaning its been growing fast. Tomorrow I find out if those little fuckers have remained in-situ, or have decided that the area they were rapidly multiplying in was becoming to small for them, and have punched their way through the walls of my ducts. So,...

Friday, March 28, 2014

Well, I didn't see THAT coming....

I have breast cancer. (DCIS) They’re words I never thought I would type, let alone say. My head is spinning on its axis, unable to finish a thought or question, before it has leapt onto the next one. I’m a tad overwhelmed…. To say the least. I’m incredibly thankful for my beautiful soul sisters. All of them. But especially Sharon. Because we have been there, done that three years ago. She is my inspiration. As we sat in the car, and I yelled FUCK FUCK FUCK , she said to me, the...

Friday, January 17, 2014

Things I know

I know that the only way I am going to be able to start regularly writing again is by participating in writing link ups. So I am. I know that I have so many things to say and write about, I just don't know where to start. I know that I need to start painting again. My fingers are itchy to create. I know that I am the only one responsible for my happiness. I know that since I focused on this, my heart and head have felt better then they have in a very long time. I know that I am very ready...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The end of her childhood

    The last few months have been monumental for my eldest child.   She has graduated from high school, the last two under stressful circumstances. Received two awards, been accepted into ACU in the young achievers program, before op results were released!, got beautifully frocked up for her formal, and turned 18.   I can't believe I have an 18 year old daughter. I have an ADULT child. How did that happen?   She is amazing. Her tenacity will get her far in...

 

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