tick tock... someone please slow the clock

Half way through January already. two weeks until I turn 40. just under two weeks until my mother arrives.... which means just under two weeks until the possiblity of some crisis or another occuring...

I'm fairly certain that my sister is off her medication. I have thought so from since before christmas. She is manic.and its building...

why does it always seem to happen around the times when its supposed to be something special for me...every friggin time

I'm glad that i decided to have my celebration the way I want it to be the weekend after my birthday.

I'm having nine women over to my house for 24hours of celebrating the godess within.i did look at finding a place to stay at but decided that I live in a massive house, with magnificent views so why go anywhere? so i have put it to my girlfriends to help me change it into a spa - bring candles, essential oils, massage table, foot spas, etc to pamper ourselves, eat decandent food, drink bubbles, and watch chick flicks, solve the problems of the world, and generally just honour being women. I'm really looking forward to it. There would so many other women I would love to have here - but they live too far away - like in other states lol.

My SIL is coming tomorrow with Zack - I cant wait to have baby cuddles, and breath in that new born smell... makes my heart aching thinking about it.

There is so much more I could write...but I so don't want to focus on the negative things happening around me. I'm really trying to let all those things slide off me, and attract positive things into my life. and I figure that writing them down only draws that negative energy in...

so today I'm grateful that Nathan got to go and spend quality time with wonderful friends who love him nearly as much as I do, and that it will feed and heal his hurting heart... That I had lots of lovely cuddles with my little boy, and got to listen to the amazing stories that he is coming out with lately. His imagination is blossoming and it is beautiful to watch. Each night I sit on the floor beside his bed and hold his hand til he falls asleep. most nights it takes about two minutes, but its lovely to feel this little hand in mine...that Laura unasked did the washing up for me, without a whole dose of attitude... that there was a beautiful breeze blowing this afternoon as I had a cup of tea and watched the mountain...