Life on the hill

Friday, May 3, 2013

Oh look. It's FFS Friday

I often read Dear Baby G FFS Fridays. It a weird kind of way it makes me feel better that the snap shots we see of other peoples lives aren't all photoshopped in amazingness. Not because I'm glad that they are having FFS moments, but because it puts my FFS into perspective. In reality life is full of FFS and wonderful moments. And because I choose to look at the half full glass most of the time, and push the FFS moments done, they often don't get acknowledged. And sometimes that just isn't healthy. We all need the opportunity to vent and release, in the hope that by doing so the negative energy those FFS moments are causing will dissipate.

Well that's my theory and I'm sticking to it FFS

The man I live with lost his job on Monday, along with fifty other guys FFS

Which means that after 5 weeks of being at home after taking voluntary redundancy, and less then a week back at work he is at home AGAIN FFS

Which means he is going to drive me bat shit crazy FFS

I need a fucking holiday BY MYSELF FFS

It ain't gonna happen FFS

I want a massage, a pedicure, a facial, a manicure and I want someone else to organise it and pay for it FFS

That also ain't gonna happen FFS

My daughter informed me that she has changed her mind AGAIN about going to schoolies FFS

I hate the fact that I can't do anything about it FFS

I am having trouble going to sleep, staying asleep, and having horrible nightmares FFS

This makes me a cranky irritable person to be around, and if one more person asks me whats wrong I may just explode FFS

You are so right Sarah - this is cheaper the MOFO therapy!

Turn on your creativity. Its in all of us

When I lived on the house on the hill, there was a huge play room. A place for my children to play, and hang out, and a place for me to create. Its the only place I have ever lived in that allowed me easy access to the things I use to create. I had a table, and book cases, and space for my easel. It was wonderful.

When the children were at school, I would put on music - anything that my heart desired, and paint and paint and paint. I have lost count of the number of times I have heard people say 'I couldn't paint if my life depended on it'.

You see, I believe that everyone has the ability to create. In some form. Be it sewing, crafting, sculpting, writing, painting, drawing, craving... you get the idea. It is only the individual who limits their ability to create. I had a number of friends come and paint with me for the day. Armed with a canvas, and a sense of 'I can't paint', they would come to the house on the hill, and stand in front of their empty canvases, too frightened to put paint on it. To frightened to let go of the logical side of their brain and let the creative side take over.

I would be madly away in my creative world, and they would still be standing looking at their blank canvas. Covered in paint, paint brush or palette knife in hand, I would guide them over to the stack of art magazines and books I have. "Here. Look. Stop thinking so much about it, and just look for somewhere to start." This would always end up being the point of departure for them, and they would start to paint. Timidly at first, then with more abandonment. It was wonderful to observe.

For me, creating - specifically painting - is soul feeding. It helps restore my equilibrium. For many reasons, I stopped painting as much as I used to. Since I started working in an Art and Craft Supply Shop, my desire to paint has been reignited and I am creating again. And that is a wonderful thing.

Todays prompt is "Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)" I KNOW that everyone has the ability to be creative.

Easy Peasy Carbonara Sauce

On the days when the thought of cooking dinner makes me want to run away, instead of calling for pizza, (because seriously have you seen how much pizza delivery is these days??!), I call on the quickest, easiest meal I can make. It's so easy my teenagers make it. (Actually the gangsta teen makes it the best, but shhhh, don't tell the teen queen).

We always have bacon in our fridge, or ham. And always mushrooms, Parmesan cheese, and eggs. Pasta is a staple carbohydrate in my house. (When you have two sons that never seem to stop eating, I'm always looking for cheap filling healthy food.) More often then not, we have thickened cream as well, but sometimes this is the one item I will implore on the gangsta teen to bike to the local IGA to get for me. Good lad that he is, he always does.

Last night was one of those dinner nights. So pasta Carbonara it was. Every single time it's made it's scarfed down like there is never going to be food provided again.

The basic recipe I use is from Taste. I love that site. I love the app even more! Anyway... Where was I? Oh yes, the basic recipe. If I have left over chicken I will put that in, or sun dried tomatoes. Added bonus is that its a cheap and cheerful recipe that fills the masses.

This is the basic Carbonara sauce:

INGREDIENTS
2 teaspoons olive oil
200g sliced pancetta, roughly chopped (I always use bacon)
3 garlic cloves, crushed
2 egg yolks (at room temperature)
2 eggs (at room temperature)
1/2 cup thickened cream
75g Parmesan cheese, finely grated (I use packet grated Parmesan cheese)

METHOD
Heat oil in a large, non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add ~~pancetta~~ bacon and garlic. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes or until ~~pancetta~~ bacon is crisp. Drain on paper towel.

Cook pasta as per instructions - I use whatever is in the cupboard.

Whisk egg yolks, eggs, cream and three-quarters of the Parmesan together in a bowl. Season with salt and pepper.

Add egg mixture and ~~pancetta~~ bacon mixture to drained pasta. Season with salt and pepper. Toss over low heat until well combined. Serve with remaining Parmesan.

Buon appetito!

The tale of two sisters

Once upon a time there were two sisters. The elder one was born as the result of a liaison between a troubled, angry young man of 21, and a confused, lonely, vulnerable young woman of 22. After 3 months of the angry young man not leaving the lonely young woman alone, (staying in his car to sleep in the front of her home - oh my god, does anyone else see the alarm bells right now!!) they married. Within these three months the angry young man had already physically assaulted the lonely young woman once, in a drunken rage. The miraculous conception of me - I mean - the elder sister also occurred.

When the elder sister was born, the lonely young woman felt a love so strong that it birthed within her the protectiveness of a lioness, and she was able to leave the angry young man behind. Alas, that angry young man had the persistence of a wasp, and targeted the lioness, becoming an angry thorn in her side - and the confusion, loneliness and vulnerability leached in, and poisoned the courage that the birth of her daughter had instilled in her.

The angry young man wanted another child. At all costs. The lonely young woman had left and come back, left and come back - so many times already. She could not, would not, bring another child into this situation. So she discreetly applied methods to help that to not happen - but it seemed the universe had other plans, and the younger sister was conceived three years laters. Amongst chaos, drama, violence, terror and fear.

From the womb she felt these emotions ebb through her mother's blood into her own.The angry young man was a musician, and moved where ever he could get work. Home was a caravan and caravan parks - like gypsies they trawled the east coast, occasionally residing in houses. The lonely young woman fell deeper into the black hole of depression until hope of any other existence ceased to exist. The younger sister grew within the lonely young woman's body, hearing the shouting rage, feeling the violence that was going on beyond the walls of the floating world she was in. The sense of danger was so strong that she firmly entrenched herself within the lonely young woman's womb, her feet blocking the exit. Regardless of the younger sister's reluctance to enter a world that was full of anger and rage, the forces of nature took over, and she was expelled from the safety of her mother's womb.

So began the tale of two sisters, and the journey they went on as children of an angry violent young man, and a confused, lonely, vulnerable young woman.

Jenni, at Story of my life has set the challenge of blog every day in May. I would like to be able to say that of course i will, but its highly unlikely. I like the prompts she has given for each day. They appeal to me. There are prompts there that I think I will find cathartic.

The first is the story of your life, or an interpretation. This is the story of where I began.

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Sunset.. Sunrise... All the same to him

I miss this place so very very much....

But my little man taught me a valuable lesson last week. He woke early, came into my room and said "Mum have you seen the sunset? Want to come and look with me?" (Sunset... Sunrise, it's all the same to him. It involves the sun.)