Saturday, April 3, 2010

antsy as a cat on a hot tin roof...

So I'm quitting smoking. Had my last cigarette this morning. And fark... aren't I feeling it now?!?!?

Cranky, irritable, teary, anxious, and craving a smoke like nothing else.

When your feeling vunerable, a myriad of emotions come up... feelings that I have obviously been masking with inhaling on a cigarette. Sadness, that bleeds into anger. Maybe its because "easter" is a time when families spend time together...and consequently I'm feeling jagged - because my family is once again broken. Even typing that statement though is bizarre, because really it was broken anyway... even with R in it.

Couldn't sleep last night - think the last time I looked at the clock it was 5am. cried alot last night. aston woke me at 6.30... going to be a very long day.....................


  1. Hugs darling, must be hard at this time of year for you. Just remember that smoking won't actually take any of that pain away, it won't heal anything and certainly won't bring any happiness. All it will do is the opposite - hard and shitty as it is, you are doing the best thing for you and your kidlets. This is from a pack a day for 10 years reformed smoker. Hang in there chicky.

  2. Vicky I am so proud of you for doing this! I can't imagine how difficult it must be, especially as you said, it is a mask for you. Keep reminding yourelf of how far you have come. YOU are the glue that is mending your family!


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