Monday, May 25, 2009

living with someone who has adhd

the other evening our little boy (2.5years) fell asleep early, on the lounge in the
play room with the big ones watching a film. DH carried him out to lounge room,
and placed him on the matteress that he is currently sleeping on. He said to me,
"he is so peaceful" and was misty eyed. He then said to me - I never noticed
before now... he was just asleep for me. I know you "see" these things all the

I really hadn't realised just how much DH had been missing out on.

He went outside for a little while, and came back in, and said to me "i'm
becoming a sad old man" to which I replied, no, your not.. your just feeling
things that you have never felt before...

He gets overwhelmed with the tirade of feelings that he has begun to feel. This
morning he was speaking to his Uncle in the UK. His family over there have been
incredibly worried about him. When he got off the phone he was crying. This from
the man who doesn't cry. Since March, and more since April, when he started the
Dex, he has experienced more emotions then he has in a long time - if ever.

It is strange for me, seeing this person that I have been so used to being
emotionless - or angry, to show other emotions. I used to call him the tinman,
because he had no heart...

And it opens up a whole other discourse... how much of my relationship with him
has been "real" and how much has been a lie...

and then there is this..

Anyone want to volunteer to write a dictionary that translates what I am trying
to say into a language that pwADHD can understand, and vice versa????

Sometimes.. make that a lot of the time, I speak, and obviously the words that
are coming out of my mouth are in a foriegn language for my pwADHD.

I really think that at the moment that is what most of our problem is - the
inability to communicate effectively. Because I'm so tired and frustrated at my
life - and wanting desperately a partner, not another child, I lack the
patience, and desire to have to communicate with this ADULT standing in front of
me like he is a child... or someone who speaks an entirely different language to
the one I thought we were both speaking.


1 comment:

  1. Oh hun, I feel for you... it must be so incredibly difficult for you to reconcile all the emotions from the last few months and with that would come difficulty in forgiving R for what he has done and moving on. How you do that while he is on his journey too I'm not sure but I know you are a strong wise woman and will find a way to forge ahead my lovely.


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