Pain

Pain is my nemesis. My cross to bear. Burning spreads across my chest. Tentacles snake up my neck ... across my shoulders... down my arms... If I drew it, it would look like a molten heaving mass - black, and red, and yellow... Fatigue melts my flesh ‘til it feels liquid and heavy...  the only respite -  Be a horizon on a bed of relief.  Breathe in. Breathe out. My soul whispers... “Let go of the sea of shame. The dishes will wait. The floors will stay unswept. No...

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What’s in a name?

A thousand years ago, or so it seems, when I started this blog I had no idea what to call it. At the time, I was living on a farm in the picturesque Noosa Hinterland, at the end of a very long drive way, on top of a hill. God I miss that place. It’s the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I started blogging originally as a way to record what was going on in my life. The interesting conundrum of having a foot in two different parenting camps - a baby, and tweens, that became a toddler and teens....

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Fractured (June 2014)

I wrote this in mid 2014, but never pressed publish. I have several posts that have sat in the draft folder waiting. I have all these words inside me, constantly pushing against my psyche, demanding to be told. So tell them I shall.  "It could be worse." I've lost count of the number of times I have had that said to me. No shit sherlock. Tell me something I don't know. I could have had invasive DCIS, had to have chemotherapy, and all the horrible things you have to...

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I just slayed a demon (or letters to the narcissist. Same. Same.)

Thank you for the conversation. It was one that needed to be had. You didn't ask about my daughter. She's coming back to Brisbane. 😊 This makes me very happy. Besides yoga gym work, repeat, and doing everything possible to take care of this vessel my soul walks around in. It's all about the zen. Like I said, I am not the same person I was 12 months ago. I look at photos of her and think I'm not her anymore. I am truly sorry that you are in a dark place. I hope you can find your way out. And...

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Salt water

In the past when I've been caught in the sea of emotions, and the waves start rolling in, I've tried to out run them. I'd get caught, and picked up and tossed around, turning over and over, lost in the turbulence. Or I would try to jump over them, only to get a slap of emotion across the head, the force throwing me off balance. This time I trying something different. I'm diving into those waves. Sometimes there are only moments to catch my breath before I have to dive again. And sometimes...

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