Monday, December 13, 2010

Some days...

.... you can wake up and before your feet even hit the floor your in a cranky mood. PMT will do that to a girl.

So feeling like I could bite the head off the first person who came within 2 metres of me, I reluctantly got out of bed. Seeing it was the four year old who was the first person who came near me, I dug deep and offered him breakfast instead of decapitating him. He does look rather cute with his head - his dimples will do it everytime.

I had the big idea that I would print off some Christmas colouring in pages for A. Ten minute maximum kind of job right? WRONG - three hours (yes you read right!) later.... After selecting a candy cane, Santa, Bells, presents, I took my lap top to the computer desk and connected it to the printer. Nothing. Run through some diangositc tests. Still nothing. Seems my offspring - as in the two older ones - have successfully stuffed up both USB ports on my laptop. Great.

So I get on the kids computer, download some pictures, go to print them. There are no drivers for the printer. great. have a minor melt down, involving some yelling at the offspring for stuffing up my computer. search for drivers, and download them, which - because its on the kids computer - takes over an hour to download. Finally get the printer up and working, and manage to print off colouring in sheets.

A is very excited about them. So him, N and myself colour them in. Going to cut them up and stick them on the window tomorrow when we put the tree up. We had planned to do the tree on the weekend, but mummy had a few beverages on Saturday night and was feeling a tad seedy on Sunday....

L went out to the movies today. She also managed to be on the recieving end of the wrath of mummy - what else are mobile phones for if not to ring up your offspring and yell at them for stuffing up your computer? So I felt rather small when I picked her up this evening from the bus stop and she handed me a notebook to put in my bag, with special mum, and inside she had written :

A mum is someonethat understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today just the way you are...

Mum, we have been through a lot in the past 14 nearly 15 years. Some good, and of course some bad. But you're my mum that's what our relationship is about. It makes it stronger. And we learn from them. I got this little notebook so when you're angry, or when we fight, I want you to look at this and remember no matter what I say or do I really do love you. Your Daughter, Laura

If mothers were flowers, I'd pick you.

There isn't anyone else that I would've asked to be my mother.

You're my role model. I look at you and think, I hope I will be a amazing as you... except for you talking with your mouthful!! hahaha. But seriously, I do mum, You're amazing.

What's funny is i remember both my brothers being born. Despite what I say about both of them, I do love them and would take a bullet for either of them. We are an amazing little family and we could live off each other.

I remember when me and Al broke up. And I went to my room and cried. You came in and just held me while I felt like my heart had been ripped out... Thank you for being the one I could count on.

You know how they say you get wiser with age? I reckon it's true. That or we're losing our mind! haha. I feel like I do get wiser each day but I think the most past is cuz you influence me. I love you mum.
As I read these beautiful words, I started to sob. USB ports? who cares... Really... In the big scheme of things it is so not important.

So some days.... when you feel like you are cranky before you even get out of bed - end off pretty damn amazing.

Friday, December 3, 2010


As I said in a previous post, I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. And honestly, there are times when I think she has downloaded my brain!!! There have been so many times where I read a paragraph of what she has written and thought, I have actually felt/thought/consider/comtemplated just that. The difference being that in many cases I have not acted on those feelings/thoughts/considerations/contemplations....

But I have started to.

As I was driving to catch up with a friend today for lunch I became aware of how I was feeling... and I was feeling happy. The epiphany was I feeling happy because of me. No-one else had made me feel happy, was the instigator of my happiness, the creator of my happiness or the cause. Just me... feeling happy for being... in my own skin... breathing.. alive...

I felt like this...

 I achieved it... and quicker then I thought - View of the sunset from my house. Peaceful isn't it. That's the feeling I'm going for. The one that is invoked when I look at this picture.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Becoming my own best friend

I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love at the moment. There are many many moments where I feel like I could have written the words, she has described an experience or feeling so aptly that I recognise it as my own.

There is one description in the book where she talks about seeing her reflection, and before realising it was HER reflection, she thought is was someone she knew...

well it got me thinking. I am for the most past a very good friend. I support my friends, listen to them, help them out - put myself out there for them. Yet I don't do those things for myself.

I recently brought myself an "I love you" present of a stirling silver ring with my birthstone garnet on it... a symbol that I love me. So continuing on from that I would like to introduce you to me - my new best friend.



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