Life on the hill

Friday, May 20, 2011

Sometimes things are closer then you think...

Earlier this week I was introduced to a new blog Stylin you. Her first post I read was about how ovarian cancer has affected her.... As I read I wondered how it has affected me... I know of two people who have it... One lost the fight. One still battles with it. But I don't know these women directly...

I was talking about it to M tonight, and discovered that his sister, who I have met, had it two years ago and is currently in remission. For now she is nearly at the half way mark for five years.... The magical marker apparently. All of a sudden it became a whole lot closer to home.....

The biggest problem with ovarian cancer is its diagnosis... it happens in most cases too late. As women its important that we take responsibility for our health.. to pay attention, and act on it...

So get informed .... after all Knowledge is Power .. and what could be more powerful then saving your own life?

The N8...

Because my keyboard on my laptop isn't working properly I've started using the qwerty keyboard on my super dooper new phone, a Nokia n8. And seeing as how its the only type of keyboard that my kids are using on their phones and iPods I'm making the leap and using it too.

Rather enjoying getting to understand and use all the features on this phone. I originally got it for the brilliant camera it has...but I'm discovering it has soooo much more then that! For example, I am amazed that I can type a document on my phone, save it, attach it to an email and send it to someone... Can even do a slide show powerpoint presentation!

I know..Small things small minds....

I'm also thinking that I'm feeling the need to physically write...take pen to paper...and then type up my blog entries... I'm missing the cathartic process that comes with the physical act of writing. Its different to typing, and I’m sure that there are different neural pathways being used in both processes....

I am...

There is a Christina Aguleria song that I love. It describes me so perfectly... with all my neurosis

I am timid and

I am oversensitive

I am a lioness

I am tired and defensive

You take me in your arms

And I fall into you

I have insecurities

You show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it

It's not that I'm needy

Just need you to see me

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me

Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Mmmm...

I am temperamental and

I have imperfections and
I am emotional

I am unpredictable

I am naked

I am vulnerable

I am a woman

I am opening up to you

Love me or leave me

Just take it or leave it

It's not that I'm needy

Just need you to see me

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me

Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands

I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am

Please lay down your arms, do you know me?

Make me feel safe from harm

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me

Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental and

I have imperfections and

I am emotional

There'll be no more pretending

and how I feeling...right now....

busy living in the real world..

....thats what I have been doing for the last ten days. And it has been lovely.

M arrived at my house last Wednesday night, and has just left this morning. and I am heading down south this evening... no kids. so our holiday will be ending with rest and recreation sans kids.

Having him here for the last week and a half has been so .... easy. and comfortable. Watching him play with the kids, and watching the kids play with him... All three of them are more relaxed and comfortable with him. The little man was saying this morning that "No your not going home".

I received an email from Aston's dad last night, "if Aston has another male in his life now I would like to know who he is I think it only fair as if Aston was with me and I had someone in his life I think you would like to know, I’m not prying into your life just Aston’s ok so please don’t take that the wrong way."

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Have mixed feelings about it. Part of me can see that he has a point, the other thinks fuck off, its none of your business. At the moment the other part is winning.... I'm just going to sit with it for a few days, and think about it, if and how I will respond.

My gut says that I don't owe him an explanation in any shape or form......

‘Are you spending quality time with your family?’

Motion Monday Challenge: Write a list of fun games and activities you like to do with your children, as a family. Include really effortless, easy to do activities as well simple and special outings. Then, do one different thing from your list with your family every day this week! Allowing that time to get together, even if it’s only a 10 minute activity will be very beneficial for you all!

One of the blogs that I subscribe to Mother's Toolkit also has a facebook page. I tend to use facebook more now as a tool to catch up on the things I like to read, as opposed to the mundane things that maybe going on in my friends lifes. So, whenever I come across something that I like to read, I also like it alot if they have a facebook page...

anyway.. that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is the above came up on my facebook feed and it got me thinking... and the answer to the question is No, I'm not spending quality time with my family. The next question is what am I going to do about it....

The best place to start would be with the suggestion...so here goes...

1. watching a dvd that we can all enjoy together
2..playing a board game - especially with nathan
3. going to the duck pond with aston.
4. going to the river and sitting in the sunshine
5. reading aston stories
6.cooking with the kids
7. palying with play dough
8 having cuddles.
9. going on picnics
10. going some where spontaneously
11. going window shopping with laura, with nothing in mind, and no where else we have to be...

I'll report next week and see how successful i was at the challenge......