Life on the hill

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

early birthday celebrations...

The best part about having a hangover is the journey you took to get it!!

Celebrated my birthday early last night - in style. Friends hire a limo to drive us to the restaurant as a surprise for me. Was such a gorgeous and generous, and unexpected gift.

I had such a brilliant time last night. Was what I needed to do - be frivolous and silly, and misbehave.... are feeling rather ordinary right now... but it was oh so worth it!!

the only way to travel ... limo with a glass of bubbles!!

well have to see if I get a copy of the matching one of this... the one anna is taking a photo of!

rosy drunken grins...

have absolutely no idea what this was - some fruit slushy cocktail thing which was very delish!

well ... don't really need to say anything do I.... :-)

42 before 42... revisited..

So, its a new year, and my birthday is less then a week away. thought I would revisit my "bucket list", and update what may have been done - in the process of doing - or have changed my mind about...

1. finish the teachers aide course and have a job ( are rethinking this one - not sure I want to do the teacher's aide course... the job thing I still want to do though)

2. sold some of my paintings.

3 get divorced (that process has been started officially today. before I can get divorced I have to have children's orders in place. Today I went and started the mediation process that will get the children's orders completed - which then means I can file for divorce!!)

4 sorted out my health (I had blood tests late last year - and sugars were good, iron levels crap, and cholestrol levels too high - but at least I have something to work with. I have a doctor's appoitnemnet tomorrow to review my medication, and discuss my increased anxiety at the moment)

5. be exercising on the Wii at least 3 times a week

6. Learn how to dance at dance classes

7. have a firm stomache

8. grown my hair (this is a work in progress - I have been to the hairdressers, and as hard as it was I just got a trim - didn't get it all cut off!!)

9. be wearing contacts lenses again

10 at least once a month be doing something that is all about me - massage, live theatre, etc etc

11. gone on holiday somewhere by myself

12. gone on holiday with the kids (are in the process of booking a holiday for the september school holidays to day dream island!!!!)

13 fallen in love with someone who values, respects, adores me (well... um... have met someone, who I like ALOT... guess we will have to wait and see where it goes from here....)

14 saved $2000

15 have my tattoo on my wrist finished.(Booked in for this wednesday!!!) Its done!! and I love it! check out here to see the finished work.

16. had my tattoo on my side added to

17. culled all the unwanted, un-needed "things" in my life OUT

18. have a vege and herb garden productive

19. learn how to crochet

20.be re-enrolled in uni

21.new tattoo on base of spine.

22. have finished all the unfinished projects that I have - or gotten rid of them

23. get a new bed

24. get a dresser

25. double bed for laura

26. nose pierced

27.make all christmas and birthday presents for this year

28 reduce internet/phone/mobile/electricity costs and save the difference

29. gone to dreamworld/seaworld/wet'n'wild with the kids on a mini holiday (I brought the VIP for myself and the kids for christmas - which doesn't expire until 30 June. So far we have been to Movieworld, and Seaworld, and L and N went to wet'n'wild with friends. I going to let N take a "mental health day" and him and I are going to head to Movieworld and have a day together.)

30. looked into getting a new to me car

31 learn to salsa

32 start zumba classes

33 water colour painting classes

34 Mosiac classes

35 Art workshops. (have THREE booked!! One this coming Saturday - working with mixed media, and two more in February!!)

36 Go whale watching this season

37 climb Mt Cooroora ( I recently got half way up... and will get to the top!!)

38 learnt a natural alternative to get, and keep my anxiety under control

39 by the end of the year moved house.

40 re-enrolled into uni to finish my teaching degree

41 started writing "my story", possibily in collorboration with my therapist.

42 have a big party for my 42nd birthday!!!

Still have a few to think of ..........

end of the school holidays...

I can't believe that I haven't posted for weeks... I realised that the last time I posted was the beginning of the school holidays. so it's only fitting that I post at the end...

its been an interesting time in my house over the last six weeks. L and N were both so tired after the end of the school year that for the first week we just read and read and read... and hung around the house. helped that it was raining non - stop.

Then my mum arrived on the 20th December for christmas, and is still here, til the first week in February... I thiknk... I HOPE!! Its been good having her here, but I'm very ready to have my house back!!!

the rain hasn't stopped, and caused flooding to 75% of the state - including me. we were flooded in for nearly a week, lost power for 3.5 days, and phone and net access for a week and half. mild compared to what alot of other experienced ... but nearly sent me nuts!!

in amongst the drama of the flooding and rain, we have managed to do several things - movies, movieworld, seaworld, picnics....

moving onto my list of 42 things... starting with getting my tattoo finished, and doing art classes in February...

lots more to tell.. but are so tired that i dont have the energy....

Some days...

.... you can wake up and before your feet even hit the floor your in a cranky mood. PMT will do that to a girl.

So feeling like I could bite the head off the first person who came within 2 metres of me, I reluctantly got out of bed. Seeing it was the four year old who was the first person who came near me, I dug deep and offered him breakfast instead of decapitating him. He does look rather cute with his head - his dimples will do it everytime.

I had the big idea that I would print off some Christmas colouring in pages for A. Ten minute maximum kind of job right? WRONG - three hours (yes you read right!) later.... After selecting a candy cane, Santa, Bells, presents, I took my lap top to the computer desk and connected it to the printer. Nothing. Run through some diangositc tests. Still nothing. Seems my offspring - as in the two older ones - have successfully stuffed up both USB ports on my laptop. Great.

So I get on the kids computer, download some pictures, go to print them. There are no drivers for the printer. great. have a minor melt down, involving some yelling at the offspring for stuffing up my computer. search for drivers, and download them, which - because its on the kids computer - takes over an hour to download. Finally get the printer up and working, and manage to print off colouring in sheets.

A is very excited about them. So him, N and myself colour them in. Going to cut them up and stick them on the window tomorrow when we put the tree up. We had planned to do the tree on the weekend, but mummy had a few beverages on Saturday night and was feeling a tad seedy on Sunday....

L went out to the movies today. She also managed to be on the recieving end of the wrath of mummy - what else are mobile phones for if not to ring up your offspring and yell at them for stuffing up your computer? So I felt rather small when I picked her up this evening from the bus stop and she handed me a notebook to put in my bag, with special mum, and inside she had written :

A mum is someonethat understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today just the way you are...

Mum, we have been through a lot in the past 14 nearly 15 years. Some good, and of course some bad. But you're my mum that's what our relationship is about. It makes it stronger. And we learn from them. I got this little notebook so when you're angry, or when we fight, I want you to look at this and remember no matter what I say or do I really do love you. Your Daughter, Laura

If mothers were flowers, I'd pick you.

There isn't anyone else that I would've asked to be my mother.

You're my role model. I look at you and think, I hope I will be a amazing as you... except for you talking with your mouthful!! hahaha. But seriously, I do mum, You're amazing.

What's funny is i remember both my brothers being born. Despite what I say about both of them, I do love them and would take a bullet for either of them. We are an amazing little family and we could live off each other.

I remember when me and Al broke up. And I went to my room and cried. You came in and just held me while I felt like my heart had been ripped out... Thank you for being the one I could count on.

You know how they say you get wiser with age? I reckon it's true. That or we're losing our mind! haha. I feel like I do get wiser each day but I think the most past is cuz you influence me. I love you mum.

As I read these beautiful words, I started to sob. USB ports? who cares... Really... In the big scheme of things it is so not important.

So some days.... when you feel like you are cranky before you even get out of bed - end off pretty damn amazing.

epiphanies...

As I said in a previous post, I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. And honestly, there are times when I think she has downloaded my brain!!! There have been so many times where I read a paragraph of what she has written and thought, I have actually felt/thought/consider/comtemplated just that. The difference being that in many cases I have not acted on those feelings/thoughts/considerations/contemplations....

But I have started to.

As I was driving to catch up with a friend today for lunch I became aware of how I was feeling... and I was feeling happy. The epiphany was I feeling happy because of me. No-one else had made me feel happy, was the instigator of my happiness, the creator of my happiness or the cause. Just me... feeling happy for being... in my own skin... breathing.. alive...

I felt like this...