Wednesday, December 4, 2013


       " or·bit
       1. a. The path of a celestial body .... as it revolves
               around another body. "
                                                Caught in each others orbit
                                                circling around.
                                               Oblivious to the outside...
                                                its noise, an annoyance.
                                               The pull - sublime.
                                               The elliptical spinning - thrilling
                                               and ...
                                               Caught in another star's orbit.
                                               Our gravities - entwined.
                                               Slowly, gently, disentangle the tendrils,
                                               each one bouncing back to its rightful place - my heart.
                                               Realign my celestial body
                                               to revolve around my heart.
                                               It deserves to be loved,
                                               admired, praised ... adored.
                                               I can not love another ...
                                               until ...
                                               I learn to love myself
                                               ... again.

Writing to still the noise in my head

I have so many thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. It feels like it is going to burst in a kaleidoscopic mess. One thought doesn't end before it shoots off in another tangent. Another thought, another tangent.

The noise in my head is deafening.

But to look at me, you would think there was nothing going on inside. Sometimes - often - I look void of ... everything. Feelings, emotions, thoughts.

While inside my head a cacophony plays.

To still the noise in my mind I realised that I need to write. It doesn't matter what I write. I just need to write. I haven't been writing. I haven't been doing anything. I have been in a form of stasis.

Is this how a caterpillar feels? When it slows down, spins its cocoon around itself and disappears within? Does some innate sense signal that the change is complete, that the only way to still the noise is to break free of the safe haven it created for itself, stretch its new butterfly wings, dry them in the sunlight and take flight?


I saw my therapist today. She reminded me of something that I had forgotten.

I am responsible for my happiness.

I think its time to start nibbling my way out of my cocoon.


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